Archive for September, 2010

Just A Little Crush

September 20, 2010

I have some thoughts on my return later, but more on what’s on my mind now.

I see a name on IM I haven’t seen in ages.  And my brain screams, “Oooh shiney!” at me.

And then my insecurity sets in.  I don’t want to bother him.  I want him to like me.  I guess I’ll just keep quiet.

I know I’ll hear all the reasons to contact him from the folks who read.  And they’re probably right, especially as little as I see him on IM, I should take the opportunity; however, I can’t bring myself to do it.

There was a connection there, once upon a time, but life interfered for both of us for a while.  He had so much going on that had him in a bad place.  And since, I’ve pulled so many disappearing acts.

I’ll sit here and crush and my heart will swoon when he notices me on Twitter or I see his name on IM and get butterflies in my tummy.  I guess some days, I’m just a silly girl.

The End

September 8, 2010

I’ve been gone so long, I’m sure no one reads this anymore.  My twitter feed is forgotten and due to one again, going into hiding, I’m sure I have been forgotten as well.  I once had some wonderful friends here online and I let them all slip away from me due to my own fears.  A couple in particular, I hold very dear to my heart and will and still do cherish certain memories.

But I don’t want to bother anyone anymore, I don’t want to sweep into people’s lives and disappear.  I don’t want to be a shadow of a person.  I can’t be Jenni.  I can’t be the boy, but I guess that is who I must be.  I wish I had something to hold onto, someone to watch the girl, keep her here, even if only in virtual space, but I ask too much.

Thank you for visiting.  Those of you who have my e-mail, I still check it, if anyone wants me for whatever reason.

*turns off the lights*